Not Just Child’s Play: Bullying & Higher Ed

The Virtues Project creates a culture that counteracts bullying: Restorative justice reduces suspensions - For two decades, a no-nonsense, cut-to-the-chase, hard-nosed school principal didn't hesitate to dole out strict punishment when students broke the rules. Then he learned about something called the restorative justice approach. It focuses on getting offenders and victims to talk about their feelings, to address what they were thinking when the incident occurred, and to work together on what could make things "as right as possible."The first time he tried it he saw an immediate positive response. He was also able to identify the causes of the bad behaviour, something that wasn't evident when he simply doled out punishment without asking questions. "It was unbelievable," he said. "The process of taking the time to give students a full opportunity to speak their minds was eye-opening." Suspensions and expulsions don't stop rule-breaking students from breaking rules again and again. "It's not that we've suddenly become lenient," he said of the new approach. "We just recognize we aren't going to be able to punish away the problems." He asks students to recall what they were thinking, reflect on who was affected by their actions, express what they believed had been the hardest part in dealing with the situation, and suggest what needs to be done to make things right."The difference is really giving students that voice," he said. "The students were more open, they were more honest, they were eager to find a solution." The last year, before the principal used restorative justice, he suspended more than 20 students. In the first seven months of the next year only 3. The virtuesproject.com has been growing around the world for nearly 25 years. The 5 strategies awaken and sustain an environment of genuine peacefulness, safety and trust. If you are serious about engaging and empowering Peace, you may wish to look at the website and get in touch with the founders.

 Hello, I'm not sure if you all it bullying . I work as a front desk clerk at a hotel. There is an older lady which is very much the oldest one here. I have bee talking to her for awhile until I've heard that she was bad mouthing me around the hotel when I confronted her she admitted to it so until she has been playing games with me. She started changing thins around at the front desk making phone cords longer super glueing the cords to where I can't change them. I do little trays for my guest and she hides the goodies I use, she even sherredded my time card which I thought that was illegal to touch someone's time card. After her shifts she stays behind and talks to a co worker about me saying I have a bad attitude and our scores go down because of me. I brought it up to my managers attention and he has done nothing just tells me it's childish and for us to stop it and do our job. I have done nothing I don't talk to her nor I don't look at her. We had a meeting about all the things but she hasn't change and still up to her old tricks. I don't wanna come to work on the days she working I have really bad anxiety I don't even want to come to work and deal with what she has to do. I just need help I can't quit my job I have two kids and our bills to pay my boyfriend's check barely last us and I can't afford to lose this job. Please help me 

 I think often about what happens to bullies when they grow up,

good info here

My demise as an Employees of a Major company,begain in 2008,when a Newly appointed Director Of Oporation was informed she was not authorized to Delegate responsibilities ot me,as she was other employees.

Soon after,i became the subject of a series of inquires as to why i'm paid the salary  worked so hard for,i became the bunt of Stereo typical refernces as well as Raicially sensitive Comments,afetr months of feeling abused,i spoke to my supervisor,who was also the COO of the Company,he assured me,he would Handle the situation.Beleiving that he would,i felt some releif.

I would soon  find myself being the target of retaliation by the same individual and a few of the other managers,i finally filed a claim  with the MCAD in mach 2012,met with the investergator and the companies legal team to address the issue. I was terminated 8/24/12 and it was covered up By a lay off,

The Emotional and mental abuse i endured during the pireod,has had a major impact on myt person life as well as my social daily activities 

I am struggling every day with the effects the trama has caused. 

I work in education and our HR department are the bully's! It's astounding! 

 i have witnessed my manager and her grandson who happens to be her asst manager bully co-worker(s) untill they cry or want to leave for the rest of the day the mananger blames her employees for her missing personal events due to their mistakes making them feel like the are stupid my questions is what can be done to stop this at my workplace and what are our rights as workers 

my grandson was recenty employ at arribas mexican grill in gilbert az on january 19 2013 i went to pick him up from work so the manager cindy told me she would get him then i here someone talking really bad to someone not knoning this was my grandson so he came out crying really bad and saying his stomach hurt he told me that this manager cindy curseds at him all the time and he could not take it anymore so on january i went in to talk to the gm manager name dan and he told me he understood it was not right what she did mean while i called the hr manager william renand and he told me thats how she is and long as it had something to do with the job she can say what ever she want so i told him i will find out about this hhe should not be over children if she is going to be abuses but she is still their and she only do this to black and mexican

I endure bullying daily at my job. Sometimes I work through screaming, yelling, name calling, tattling, innapropriate comments, etc. At times, I feel like I need to crawl under my desk for shelter. I am constantly the target of malicious gossip and usually the one being screamed at.

I work at a very prestigous hospital and wonder sometimes what the CEO/COO would say if they saw some of the activities that take place in my office. My co-workers are selfish, innapropriate, bullies, and down right unlawful. My boss does not have guts to stand up to it because the yearly office survery would come back saying that the staff did not like her supervisory skills.

I am having such a hard time understanding why I have to continue to go through this day in and day out. Why do I have to "just deal with it". I was called a snot one day, another day I am in a screaming match with two other co-workers. My boss standing by, just allowing it to happen.

What can I do?

I work in the office of a small car dealership basically in the woods of Mass. I have been here basically 5yrs and have seen nothing but people bashing eachother and talking behind everyone else's back. From what I am experiencing is that I am the black sheep. I get paid crap money to bust my behind while all my co-workers usually sit around the majority of the day and gossip. It's horrible and I wish I could get out. I approached my manager about it and she told me that "She can't make everyone happy". Therefore, I now work outside in the trailer. Entering ONLY into the office when need be to make copies in fear of them talking about me in code (like the do everyone else in the place). I have never been more disgusted working at a place but like one of the other people who had posted on here, they need the money and it's stable. So suffer the mental anguish and still it out for a lil under $400 a week or quit and then have nothing? It's so unprofessional, unethical and just wrong. Not to mention I have the owner of the company who used to come into the office to scream and spit his head off (gross). Nothing like being outcasted! Whatever happened to going to work to make money, make a living and make something of yourself?

Stay strong everyone if you're going through this! I hope it gets better. :/

is exactly what happened to my husband working in Louisville, KY for Sam Swope Auto Group. Yes, I name names. I name names because these companies, the bullies and those who HARBOR them need to be exposed for who and what they are. I am raising awareness -- not just to say that this problem exists but for people to take ACTION and do something about it. . I am in the process of starting a foundation which will do several things:  (1) it will provide assistance with those suffering from anxiety, depression and PTSD-type symptoms; (2) We will provide workshops and corporate summits for companies who are proactively looking to educate their employees and provide a zero-tolerance policy towards bullying, making it a firing offense.   (2) It will "out" the companies who refuse to care for their employees, who are allowing and condoning this type of behavior.  If you are a company and you are allowing, condoning, covering up and HARBORING bullies in your workplace? You should be very concerned because there are going to be consequences by the time the Global Community is finished. This isn't JUST about a court of law, it's about the court of public opinion which is becoming downright intolerant of intolerance. If you're a car dealership and you are harrassing, bullying and have racist and discriminatory practices, people are going to know about you and you will lose business. We will place our stamp of approval "Bully-Free Workplace" on the doors of your competitors. There will be a well-ranked website that lists companies caught in the "Bully Zone" and refusing to change -- so that potential, QUALITY employees will know to run in the opposite direction and savvy consumers who care about where their money goes and what it supports will NOT shop with you. This is all coming. There are plenty of informational sites out there talking about bullying and also some laws that have been passed. But people, our power lies in our purchasing power AND word of mouth. I have yet to see anything actionable being put out there... nothing for the Global Community to take power into their own hands and turn these companies into financial deserts -- serving up some well-deserved social justice for these businesses ruining the lives of those they employ.

I have just recently launched a change(dot)org petition with regard to this (you can find the link on my website)... it's a start. I also have a website  CorporateRacism(dot)com where you can contact me if you'd like to get on board with this endeavor. It will help you get your own life back and empower you to do something about your own situation. If you need help, PLEASE contact me on my website by leaving me a message.

Wishing the very best to EACH of you!!

In May 2007, I witnesss a school aide verbal abusing and neglecting a special education student who attempted to hut themselve due to the abuse and neglect.  I reported in accordance with the law.  Two weeks later, my nightmare started, I was falsely accussed of this act that I reported.  There was no investigation or report.  I have spent the last six year fighting this injustice for myself and the student.  You can read my full story on endteacherabuse.org.  Click on teacher stories box, click on teacher stories and my Norbert Leute.  Please read and look at the names I've written to who basically said they don't have a problem with a child being abused in public schools.  Also, I found out I have no protection under no labor laws because I worked as a substitute teacher.  That means your kids are not truely save in school.  Moreover, I have no portection under constitution because of who I am.  I have no right to due process, access to documentation, or any civil liberities.  This all happen because I did the right thing in accordance with the law.

For the past 2 years now I have suffered intimidation, bullying, threats and harassment from the Facility Manager on my job. I have been an employee at Davita one of Memphis TN largest Dialysis companies since 2007. This horrible environment have finally broken me down in more ways than I could have ever imagined. I have provided documentation to the Human Resources Director (only to be told that it was too lengthy to read) of every situation that has taken place , requested numerous meetings with mediation (that never took place), I have e-mailed the Regional operations Director (only to be told that he doesn’t meet with Patient Care Technicians), contacted the compliance hotline (who doesn’t handle those types of matters) , and people services who referred me back to human resources who have yet to respond to any of the documentation or incidents that were reported. The chain of command has been followed to the very last link. Most recently I've reached out for help from the EEOC who referred me to the Department of Labor, who then referred me to Tennessee Workforce Development who all told me that there are no laws in TN to help protect those like me who have been made to continuously suffer on the job. Finally I was advised by the state labor office that matters of this nature would have to be handled by the TN court system. I am lost and at this point and don't know what to do or where to go. I pray that someone is able to help, advise or refer me soon. I have become extremely depressed, fearful and tired. Honestly feeling that maybe I should have said nothing at all. I am a living witness that bullying goes so much further than the playgrounds and school cafeteria, it is alive and well in the workplace. In my quest for peace with this situation I realized that harassment should not be limited to age, race, gender or sexual nature. Because when someone such as myself does not fall under the "covered umbrella" of services provided by the agencies listed above and the many law offices that don't handle this type of case one can't help but feel helpless, undervalued, and without a lifeline. It has become very clear to me that those on the job resources that are in place to help the associates have one main rule you as an employee should NEVER go against the "corporate grain" because things can and most likely turn very quickly against you. and believe me having no where to turn for HELP is the worst feeling in the world. Thanks in advance for your consideration.

I have been through 6 years of bullying at my last job. I finally walked into the boss's office, told him exactly what I thought of him, and walked out. Although I was poor and jobless for a few months, it was WORTH IT!! What makes you depressed is the feeling of powerlessness... like you can't say anything. No job is worth giving up your self worth. Just tell them to F off, fill out your exit interview paperwork and be brutally honest, and get yourself to a better place that appreciates you. There is always someone who will give you a good job reference - if you are truly doing a good job. My regional manager gave me a glowing job recommendation... much to my surprise. Turns out he hated the company too! You have more friends than you realize. They are just stuck in the same position as you.

 I work for a large medical practice with several clinics.  The physicians and staff are all employees of that corporation.  The clinic I work in was once owned by the physician who is now an employee along with his original staff.  I am the only one who started out with the corporation.  I was sent there to replace one of the original workers.  I have since realized that the physician is running a shell business within the clinic under a different LLC and paying wages to the other 3 workers without the knowledge of the owners.  They handle all of his personal/family business including investments, banking, personal travel, personal insurance, shopping, home repairs, shopping, and most other tasks on a personal level.  All 3 do this work while on the company clock.  They even leave the office frequently for 1 to 2 hours taking care of his business and sometimes for more time then that without clocking out.  The other workers frequently eat their lunch on the clock while not working in the break room and then clock out for an additional 1 to 1 and 1/2 hour.  None of these workers is salaried.  

They did not have a choice in me being assigned to their office.  The physician told me that one of the workers was my boss, which is not true.  My boss is a corporate employee and I have talked to her about the other woman saying she is my supervisor.  I was told this was not true.  The physician has stated he is not an employee of the company at times and then slipped up and said he was.  I know for a fact he is a salaried employee.

The first 3 months of my working were fine and I was consistently being told what a great job I was doing until they realized I was not going along with their under the table operations.  From that time on I have been called into 3 meetings with the physician and told to "stay under the radar" and not to say anything to the corporate office about what I hear or observe in the clinic.  I was also told that another woman who worked there talked too much and was fired.  I took it as a passive threat.  Since then I have been screamed at, insulted both indirectly and directly, threatened by a coworker multiple times, and even was told by another coworker they might come out to my house uninvited.  The coworker who screams and shouts at me on a daily basis also throws things at me, slams filed down on my desk, jerks things out of my hands, pushes me out of the way, and intentionally blocks me from being able to use equipment required on my job.  She insults me in front of patients, tells them I am incompetent and that I don't know what I'm doing.  She told two patients in my presence that I would be gone soon and now they won't deal with me in the office.  The woman who says she is my supervisor witnessed this coworker screaming and yelling at me twice.  She also witnessed the coworker rushing at me, stopping within an inch of my hear whispering threats.  That woman told her to "back off" loudly and she stopped.  The physician called me into a meeting yesterday first thing at work right after I signed in and made me aware that he would not tolerate me talking to anyone about these matters outside of those in the office.  One of my complaints is that this physician asks me to perform ridiculous tasks that our clinic should not do.  For example, he tasked me with watering the grass outside near the sidewalk because he says he wants it to always be green.  The building owners are responsible for the landscape, not us.  He had me go buy him a water hose on my own personal time, gave me an 20.00 bill, and expected that to be enough.  I was then told I would need to water the grass every Friday.  Two weeks ago he tasked me with cutting a sapling tree down in the wooded area off the parking lot and told me to bring my own saw to do it.  His reason was he did not like looking at it.  In the meeting, he said nothing was inappropriate about those assignments and he feels it is part of the job.  He made it clear he expects me to do it.

He also advised me that the other coworker who yells at me all the time had been informing him of my cell phone conversations with HR.  All of my personal conversations are done outside the office at lunch or in my car or outside and not within their hearing.  I told him this is speculation, and my personal conversations on my cellphone are none of his business.  I asked him why the employees were monitoring me.  One day I was so upset I was crying because of the constant yelling and I went into the bathroom for relief.  The other worker came in, actually unlocked the door, and demanded that I quit crying.  She apologized, but later in the day said she only did that to get me out.  I told the physician that I couldn't even go to the restroom without being monitored.  He stated that it was normal for someone to come into the bathroom to see why I was crying like that.

In this meeting he asked me why don't I quit.  I told him I need the money and he said he doesn't want me there if I just need money.  He said he wants it to work out but I have to stop talking to anyone at corporate.  The supervisor woman who is not the supervisor according to the business stated she did not witness the shouting and behavior of the other employee.  In fact, she said there was no shouting and the other employee never rushed me or threatened me and she  did not tell her to back off.

Honestly, I've had enough and I am actively persuing another job.  I think there is something dishonest and illegal going on or these people would not be going to this much trouble to protect whatever it is from being found out.  If he had the power to fire me, he would have.  My supervisor/manager has told me they have never reported anything to her about my performance and he also stated this; but if he reports anything false, he knows I would most likely let them know what is going on with his shell corporation, cheating the corporation of employee pay, and using corporate work time for personal gain.

I want to know what to do.  We don't have bullying laws here in Georgia.  I am certain that what he is doing would not be allowed by the company, but if it is something criminal, I don't want to put myself in jeopardy of harm.  The situation is scary.  I'm thinking of just taking another job even if it isn't ideal and then letting the corporate owners know what is happening there.  They have had conflicts with this physician in the past regarding corporate policy and practice.  He told me once he regrets selling them his practice and that he is not making enough money with his production percentage.  I know that is because he refuses to see patient's 5 days a week and he gives too many discounts, even not charging his many friends, relatives, and acquaintances he sees frequently.  So many company violations go on that I can't list them all including employees giving themselves injectable medications for free.  We don't get any free treatment as part of our benefits because of an insurance liability problem, or at least that is what the corporate folks told me.

I want to tell all of this to HR and the owners but I'm afraid it would backfire on me.  I can't quit without another job to go to.  I feel that this is affecting my health and my psyche.  My hair has started falling out, my immune disorder is acting up, and I find myself questioning my own capabilities.  I am more emotional then I've ever been in my entire life and the stress is overwhelming.  We don't have an EAP program, but I am persuing counseling through my own insurance that is not through the company.  I hope to get a diagnosis that this is related to psychological abuse at work.  I am keeping a log of all of these indicents.  In Georgia the law allows recording conversations a person is party to wihout informing the other person. 

In some ways I would like to vindicate myself but in others I just want to get out and leave this all behind me.  I don't want this to cost me my reputation.

I have read the articles.. the responses. All I can write is an expression with a heavy heart.

Recently,... was hired this past week for a job. after brief training. I was given a shift. the job I had.

Was a commision job- given the worst shift. Performed. Made money for the company.

After the first day. the person that trained me.. was shocked  that I did so well.

Mentioned she was not making monies on her shift. had to borrow monies from a co-worker.

 the very next day.. the night mare began. critisim .. attacks on my performance.

In her defense,.. I had some issues  regarding paperwork.

Whatever was the case,.. the issues were fixable.

was there a total of  6 days. performed beyond there expectations.

Clear to me.. this was an act of jealously. for i was making monies.

All the signs of bullying were present. telling me i was horrible at my job.

not grasping my paperwork. yet i made monies for the company.

I proposed the suqguestion to come in on my day off,.. work with her.

On all the issues that were of concerned.

That my position was any and all concerns,.. were fixable

I placed a call to the owners assistant who hired me.

He has yet to return my call.

Today,.. i am looking for a new job.

What can one do? yet hope for the best. 

I have been bullied at work for the last 3 years. I refuse to give in because I am coming up on my full retirement in 4 years including this year. One of the people bullying me used to be my lunch buddy for 7 years. Then, I was forced to share the office space that she used to have alone. She resented me being there from the beginning. She told me that there was not cabinet space or drawer space for me because it was all full. She began to not speak to me. I never challenged her about the cabinet space or drawer space, etc. I just worked within a small place which held my computer. I repeatedly tried to please her, speak kindly to her...I repeatedly apologized that I had to be there and asked her if there was anything I could do to make things work better. She wouldn't talk to me, except when she was making cutting remarks and bossing me around. She began excluding me from lunch plans, etc. She was deliberately trying to hurt my feelings. I put up with it all year. I finally had to write her out of my life and accept the fact that I am her friend and she is not mine. I am not the first person she has bullied and I won't be the last. I feel much better not groveling at her feet and trying to make things up to her. I was being manipulated. It is wrong for this to be allowed in the workplace. Bullies don't change apart from a miracle from God.

I have my MS degree in chemistry, and work as a lab instrument specialist with very low salary in a chemistry lab in one university in VA for exact 10 years.    I am a victim for workplace harassment for more than 5 years!       My boss, a "so-called" professor, is a big horrible bully!  (People can't believe that high-educated  research professor could be a bully!  The truth is  YES! ).  He never trained me to use the analytical instruments, instead, he warned me not to touch these equipment, even saying: "if you touch it, I will kill you!"    
At first couple of years, he treated me as his private secretary, I did all trivial things, such as copying paper, mailing, cleaning the labs, loading samples for him to run from home (--That's fine, I did them without any complaints.)     After I have kids in all these years, he treated me worse and worse, jsut like his slave!   He yelled and shouted to me whenever he wanted, humilitated and insulted me in front of students.  I tolerated all these, because I am a working mother.  I need the university health insurance for my whole family!  ( I started to look for jobs many years ago, but the job-market was so bad, and small chemistry labs didn't have good insurance for my whole family.)    Well,  I lost my self-confident, always self-blame,   I couldn't sleep well, scared to go to work every morning, dare not to talk to him, even for any research-related questions... 

He really has the anger-management problem: he is unhappy, and mad everyday, he loses his temper any minute...   Anyway, he keeps blaming me and accusing me falsely,  even sending threaten email with all capital letters...  Finally, I couldn't stand it any more!  I talked to HR, and requested to be transferred!  

I don't know my future yest,  I wonder if HR could handle this case fairly, should I hire a attonery to sue this bully  if I lose my job? 

 Such a horrible nightmare!  well, the consequence is:  I am so disappointed for the whole research field, and lost my trust on the high-educated people.   I am so regretted that I chose the chemist as my career -- chemists only do the bench work or lab technician work, being treated as slaves!    
I will definitely not let my three smart kids choose science, such as chemistry / bio-chemistry / biology as their careers in future!